The pick-up artist

Today my nightmare came true and for the first time I was late to pick up Isaac from preschool. The clock in the car said I was just barely on time, but those evil ho-bags Miss Susie and Miss Barbara let the kids out just a bit early. Isaac was literally waiting by the door, looking out, as all the other moms were bustling around picking up their babies' artwork from the day.

I had played this scene over and over in my head, what would happen, how our hearts would break together at how I wasn't there when I was supposed to be. There would be much wailing on the part of Isaac, then once safely in the car, I would start bawling my eyes out at how I was suddenly (GASP!) "that mom".

But none of this happened. Isaac saw me and gave me an excited and big hug, leading me back to his cubby to get his junk. I started asking him about his day, and he told me they read a story about Santa Mouse. "Do you want to see it, Mommy?" Sure I do, especially since you don't hate me for not being on time.

He led me into their classroom, now empty except for 1) the teachers busying themselves tidying up the room for the day, and 2) a classmate of his, Samantha - whose mom or dad had not yet arrived either - busily flipping through The Very Busy Spider. This is really a pretty laid-back school. Santa Mouse was sitting on a nearby table, but now that we were in the room Isaac wanted to show me all around.

Samantha was glad to see us and came over to hang out around the boys and I. She is a really, really sweet girl, as all the kids in his class are super-sweet. She was especially fond of Jacob, repeatedly trying to introduce herself to and hug him. Jacob spurned her advances in favor of a basket of buttons. Isaac was a little offended by all this attention thrown at little brother.

"Mommy," he said, "I want Samantha to hug me." Um, cheeseball, then why don't you ask her? So he did. "Samantha, can I have a hug?" But Samantha couldn't hear him, or wasn't paying attention to his voice underneath all her cooing over her new love Jacob.

Isaac was frustrated. "Mommy, I want her to hug me. Why won't she hug me?" Well, why don't you try asking her again?

So Isaac blasts out his masterful pick-up line: "Samantha, I'm getting to be really sad because you won't give me any hugs." And the girl STILL won't pay attention to him, so enamored she is of his little brother who won't give her the time of day. It's as true at three years as at twenty-three.

Seeing that she really wasn't ignoring Isaac so much as enveloped in cutie-Jake, I told Samantha that Isaac would really like a hug. She immediately turned towards Isaac, blasting him a mega-watt smile, and folded her arms all around him. Isaac grinned and wiggled under her like a goon.

Boys.