All snug in our own little beds
I have blogged occasionally about Jacob and his dysfunctional sleep, but for the most part it doesn't seem important to talk about. This is mainly because it is old news. I went through the not-sleeping thing with Isaac, who I think slept through the night a grand total of 5 times before he was 22 months old.
When we were nursing, I'd fetch him out of his crib and take him into bed with me so we could all get some sleep. This pretty much meant I either kicked Daddy out of the bed, or that I slept in the guest bed in Isaac's room. When we moved to Delaware, Isaac decided he couldn't fall asleep in his bed. He'd only fall asleep in someone's arms, so one of us would lay with him on the couch, watching TV, until he had passed out cold. Then we would hold our collective breath during the transfer to his bed. Eventually I figured out that he would fall asleep in his own bed only if I sat in the rocking chair in his room while he did so. If I so much as made a motion out of the room before he was sound asleep, we'd have to start all over again. And then when he'd wake up in the night I'd bring him into the big-people bed and show Daddy to his honored place on the couch.
Somehow, magically, just before his 2nd birthday and the arrival of his little brother, someone flipped a switch up in heaven and Isaac fell asleep on his own, in his bed, and slept there all night long. He's been that way ever since.
Enter the Jake, who I prayed would be the good sleeper I so deserved. He turned out to be worse than his brother in this respect, if that is at all possible. Never had we been able to put him in his crib and just leave without much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Even since he'd been weaned, he woke up every night at least once. Usually I would bring him in bed with me and he would fall back asleep before his head hit the pillow, the turd. If I didn't take him with me, but tried to put him asleep in some other way, such as our couch-TV method, he'd wake up again and again until he'd find himself in bed with me. Out of need of sleep, then, Dada was again relegated to the couch, this time in the basement.
You can do the math here perhaps, figuring out that lately I was wasting an hour of my night every night in front of the TV waiting for Jacob to fall asleep. Combine that with the fact that Dada and I had not shared a bed probably over 99% of the nights since Isaac was born. That's over 3-1/2 years ago. Like all great success stories in parenting history, this one begins with a cold, crystallizing moment where you realize that you've worked yourself into a rut of coddling and convenience that you just can't stand to live in anymore.
So about a month ago I decided one night to let Jacob scream himself to sleep at bedtime. It worked astonishingly well; the first night it only took him a half-hour, and the second night he just snuggled up with the pillow in his crib and knocked himself out with no tears at all. When he would inevitably wake in the night, I'd pick him up and take him in bed with me as usual, unwilling to ruin everyone's night of sleep for now. But it was an important start.
Our real break came while Mamaw and Dadaw were here. I gave them the grown-up bed and slept on the daybed in Jacob's room. When he'd wake in the night this time, I noticed that it was exclusively because he'd kicked off his blankets. I'd get up, tuck him back in, and he'd fall right back to sleep in his crib, never caring to get out to be with me. It was luscious.
We wasted no time in putting this new knowledge to use, and I am therefore pleased to announce that In the two nights since Mamaw and Dadaw left, everyone has slept in their own beds for the whole night, for the first time in the entirety of our childrearing experience. Isaac, as always, sleeps in his bed. Jacob wakes up once in the night, I rearrange the covers over him, and he goes back to sleep in his crib until the morning. And Dada finally joins me back in the grown-up bed where he belongs. Can you believe it? Like a proper family we are! And it only took 3-1/2 years.
If this isn't a rallying cry for NO MORE BABIES, I don't know what is. Let it stay like this, please, at least until somebody gets an ear infection this winter.
When we were nursing, I'd fetch him out of his crib and take him into bed with me so we could all get some sleep. This pretty much meant I either kicked Daddy out of the bed, or that I slept in the guest bed in Isaac's room. When we moved to Delaware, Isaac decided he couldn't fall asleep in his bed. He'd only fall asleep in someone's arms, so one of us would lay with him on the couch, watching TV, until he had passed out cold. Then we would hold our collective breath during the transfer to his bed. Eventually I figured out that he would fall asleep in his own bed only if I sat in the rocking chair in his room while he did so. If I so much as made a motion out of the room before he was sound asleep, we'd have to start all over again. And then when he'd wake up in the night I'd bring him into the big-people bed and show Daddy to his honored place on the couch.
Somehow, magically, just before his 2nd birthday and the arrival of his little brother, someone flipped a switch up in heaven and Isaac fell asleep on his own, in his bed, and slept there all night long. He's been that way ever since.
Enter the Jake, who I prayed would be the good sleeper I so deserved. He turned out to be worse than his brother in this respect, if that is at all possible. Never had we been able to put him in his crib and just leave without much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Even since he'd been weaned, he woke up every night at least once. Usually I would bring him in bed with me and he would fall back asleep before his head hit the pillow, the turd. If I didn't take him with me, but tried to put him asleep in some other way, such as our couch-TV method, he'd wake up again and again until he'd find himself in bed with me. Out of need of sleep, then, Dada was again relegated to the couch, this time in the basement.
You can do the math here perhaps, figuring out that lately I was wasting an hour of my night every night in front of the TV waiting for Jacob to fall asleep. Combine that with the fact that Dada and I had not shared a bed probably over 99% of the nights since Isaac was born. That's over 3-1/2 years ago. Like all great success stories in parenting history, this one begins with a cold, crystallizing moment where you realize that you've worked yourself into a rut of coddling and convenience that you just can't stand to live in anymore.
So about a month ago I decided one night to let Jacob scream himself to sleep at bedtime. It worked astonishingly well; the first night it only took him a half-hour, and the second night he just snuggled up with the pillow in his crib and knocked himself out with no tears at all. When he would inevitably wake in the night, I'd pick him up and take him in bed with me as usual, unwilling to ruin everyone's night of sleep for now. But it was an important start.
Our real break came while Mamaw and Dadaw were here. I gave them the grown-up bed and slept on the daybed in Jacob's room. When he'd wake in the night this time, I noticed that it was exclusively because he'd kicked off his blankets. I'd get up, tuck him back in, and he'd fall right back to sleep in his crib, never caring to get out to be with me. It was luscious.
We wasted no time in putting this new knowledge to use, and I am therefore pleased to announce that In the two nights since Mamaw and Dadaw left, everyone has slept in their own beds for the whole night, for the first time in the entirety of our childrearing experience. Isaac, as always, sleeps in his bed. Jacob wakes up once in the night, I rearrange the covers over him, and he goes back to sleep in his crib until the morning. And Dada finally joins me back in the grown-up bed where he belongs. Can you believe it? Like a proper family we are! And it only took 3-1/2 years.
If this isn't a rallying cry for NO MORE BABIES, I don't know what is. Let it stay like this, please, at least until somebody gets an ear infection this winter.
posted by Claire at 10:44 PM
4 Comments:
Not sure it's a rallying cry for no more babies since Dada is back in bed with Mama.
I'm so sorry about the sleep thing and glad it is OVER. Liam was an angel sleeper and Shea is paying me back for it. I will cherish this story to give me hope for the future.
There is hope, Susie! Two years in your future, but hope, yes!
Oh, and did I mention the IUD I'm getting in 5 days?
Congrats! Sometimes we're just slow learners :-) but eventually we always figure it out.
I didn't quite see how kicking the kids out of your bed will help in preventing more kids...then I read your comment about your upcoming IUD...I see now. :) Be careful in those 5 days.
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