Swim lessons, day 3
Today's swim lessons went much better.
We had a significant advantage today in that Jacob stayed home with Daddy so I could devote my full mental energies to Isaac.
My friend Amy and I were talking recently about our respective young people (her daughter is 5) and their mutual resistance to such kidtastic things as learning to swim or learning to ride a bike. Yes, these kids are welcome to have opinions about what they do and don't do, but we parents must pull rank in things like this that really matter, things their future selves would regret not having learned to do. What Amy and I discussed was the importance of presenting a calm, unmovable attitude, along the lines of "This is what we do." No "because"s, or "if"s, "and"s, or "but"s. No bargaining. No meanness, either. Only casual matter-of-factness. For example, a conversation we had just before we left the house:
Mommy: We have to get ready for swim lessons now.
Isaac: I don't want to go to swim lessons. I don't like swim lessons.
Mommy: We have swim lessons today, so we are going.
Isaac: (sigh) Okay, mommy. I'll go.
And that was it.
What I realize whenever I have a chance to be on my own with Isaac, is that my projecting this attitude is so effective for him. It's nearly impossible for me to do, however, when I'm distracted by another munchkin who is fussy in his own right and for completely different reasons. Just before lessons started, I tried so hard to get Jacob in the mommy-and-me class that meets at the same time as Isaac's. Lordy am I glad that class was full, because now I see how important it is for me to be all Isaac's right now.
We had a significant advantage today in that Jacob stayed home with Daddy so I could devote my full mental energies to Isaac.
My friend Amy and I were talking recently about our respective young people (her daughter is 5) and their mutual resistance to such kidtastic things as learning to swim or learning to ride a bike. Yes, these kids are welcome to have opinions about what they do and don't do, but we parents must pull rank in things like this that really matter, things their future selves would regret not having learned to do. What Amy and I discussed was the importance of presenting a calm, unmovable attitude, along the lines of "This is what we do." No "because"s, or "if"s, "and"s, or "but"s. No bargaining. No meanness, either. Only casual matter-of-factness. For example, a conversation we had just before we left the house:
Mommy: We have to get ready for swim lessons now.
Isaac: I don't want to go to swim lessons. I don't like swim lessons.
Mommy: We have swim lessons today, so we are going.
Isaac: (sigh) Okay, mommy. I'll go.
And that was it.
What I realize whenever I have a chance to be on my own with Isaac, is that my projecting this attitude is so effective for him. It's nearly impossible for me to do, however, when I'm distracted by another munchkin who is fussy in his own right and for completely different reasons. Just before lessons started, I tried so hard to get Jacob in the mommy-and-me class that meets at the same time as Isaac's. Lordy am I glad that class was full, because now I see how important it is for me to be all Isaac's right now.
posted by Claire at 8:53 PM
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