Famous last words

I am pleased to report that, five days later, Jacob still has not had a boobie. While he seems to be fine other than the screaming with an extra side of screaming in the middle of the night, I am still living with these ginormous, painful boulders hanging from my chest. Well, those who know me might scoff at the "boulder" comparison. Perhaps "really hard dirt clods" or "larger pebbles" would be more apt. They're not even symmetrical -- I had a vague notion that I nursed him more on my left side than on my right, and I think all you'd have to do is take a sideways glance at me now to see that "notion" blown up to Macy's Day Parade proportions.

There is no relief in sight from my poor engorged state, either. I tried expressing a little this morning and nothing would come out, especially of my seriously balloonified left one. Of course, it could be that I was trying in the shower while Jacob was standing just outside the shower curtain loudly reminding me that I should have been holding him instead of bathing myself. He makes it so easy to relax, that one. Grandma Jane, I realize you suggested there might be some drugs out there to help, but I think I'll tough it out a little more au naturel. I do feel that the pressure is not really getting any worse, and that's my totally scientific sign that the milky tidewaters are receding. I think I'll head to the grocery store tomorrow to buy some cabbage leaves. Apparently that is all the rage, according to Dr. Google -- some chemical in cabbage helps to decrease milk production or something.

Of course I say all this, and my friend AnthonyCarlos's mom just had boob surgery for an abcess that happened while she was gleefully nursing (not weaning) her six-month-old. SO! Let's hope my boobie business shows some major improvement here by the end of the week, and in the meantime I will be praying to the mastitis gods for mercy.