Reeling in the year
I guess I stopped to blink away a whole year somehow, because today ...
It was a year ago today when my baby cannon pushed this enormous, squooshy creature into the world. It's times like this when I love this blog, because it is the only reason I remember most things about Jacob's infancy. I sat last night in the rocking chair in his room, rocking His Royal Phlegm-Ball-ness to sleep and cried. I cried because, as much as I want to remember him this way --
the way his hair is so soft and fine
how his rolls and rolls of thigh fat feel like warm, velvety jello between my fingers
how he laughs deep and snorting like a drunken frat boy
how he snores ever so softly as he's passed out in bed next to me, his legs propped up against mine
how he could spend his entire life perched atop my right hip, left arm slung around my arm
-- I know that I really won't remember it the way it is now. I'll have the words I write here, and the pictures that show what we did and how he smiled. Like this.
But just as he is the one creating these feelings in me, he is also taking them away almost as quick as they come. He sleeps so badly, worse, perhaps, than even his brother before him, that my short-term memory is noticeably handicapped. While I don't really mind that so much, especially since Isaac proved to me that sleeplessness too shall pass, I do mind that Jacob has moved from goo-ball to independently mobile toddler in no time flat. Already there are plans to move him out of his crib in the fall, just like his brother before him. He doesn't even look like a baby anymore, with his gigantic rows of incisors and his ability to answer the phone. ("Hello?")
It won't be long before neither of them let me rock them to sleep in the night anymore.
A proper birthday post to follow later. For now, let me be both elated that Dada and I have successfully raised two boys through infancy, but also sad that the corollary to that is that I have no more babies.
It was a year ago today when my baby cannon pushed this enormous, squooshy creature into the world. It's times like this when I love this blog, because it is the only reason I remember most things about Jacob's infancy. I sat last night in the rocking chair in his room, rocking His Royal Phlegm-Ball-ness to sleep and cried. I cried because, as much as I want to remember him this way --
the way his hair is so soft and fine
how his rolls and rolls of thigh fat feel like warm, velvety jello between my fingers
how he laughs deep and snorting like a drunken frat boy
how he snores ever so softly as he's passed out in bed next to me, his legs propped up against mine
how he could spend his entire life perched atop my right hip, left arm slung around my arm
-- I know that I really won't remember it the way it is now. I'll have the words I write here, and the pictures that show what we did and how he smiled. Like this.
But just as he is the one creating these feelings in me, he is also taking them away almost as quick as they come. He sleeps so badly, worse, perhaps, than even his brother before him, that my short-term memory is noticeably handicapped. While I don't really mind that so much, especially since Isaac proved to me that sleeplessness too shall pass, I do mind that Jacob has moved from goo-ball to independently mobile toddler in no time flat. Already there are plans to move him out of his crib in the fall, just like his brother before him. He doesn't even look like a baby anymore, with his gigantic rows of incisors and his ability to answer the phone. ("Hello?")
It won't be long before neither of them let me rock them to sleep in the night anymore.
A proper birthday post to follow later. For now, let me be both elated that Dada and I have successfully raised two boys through infancy, but also sad that the corollary to that is that I have no more babies.
posted by Claire at 11:18 PM
6 Comments:
Wow, I feel like I could copy and paste just about all of your post and use it in a week and a half! Bittersweet is definitly the right word. How did they get to be one so fast?! And I am totally with you on the brian being even mushier this time around. At least I'm in good company:-)
Happy Birthday Jacob!
Happy Birthday sweet boy!
Believe me, there will come a day as you walk through the mall, or the park and you'll see a little cherub boy and those warm feelings will flood your heart O yes! And one day you will look in in grand son's face and see your own son and again those old feelings come back again. mamaw
Happy birthday Jakey! :)
happy (belated now) birthday jake!
i haven't been by in awhile, but it looks like you are doing great! the boys look wonderful =) they do grow up ever so fast! just in the last 2 weeks, my baby has started crawling and pulling himself up...
Awww hope he had a great birthday!
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