Burping machine

Aunt Jean so kindly reminded me of an Isaac-ism uttered in Indianapolis that knocked me half-unconscious with laughter:

At Meemaw and Poppop's house one night, Meemaw invented a peek-a-boo game with Jacob. Jacob crawled onto Isaac's bed (a crib mattress on the floor) and pulled the blanket over his head to hide. After a few "Where's Jakey?" inquiries from the Meemaw, Jacob would pull the blanket down and let out a seriously unholy loud and long shriek. This shriek was so violently loud that it roused Jean and I from our activity with Isaac. But when the three of us went upstairs to investigate, we could only find a toddler noise maker wearing a gigantic grin as he screamed his precious blond head off at his adoring Meemaw.

Seeing that there was no death or dismemberment here, we all decided Jacob's crazy game needed to be captured on video. Jean whipped out her digital camera and recorded away, but of course as soon as she started Jacob lost all interest in playing Mothra. His camera-tastic brother stepped up instead.

Isaac decided it was high time to show Meemaw and Jean how he could burp at will. Repeatedly. He thinks this is hilariously funny and does it often. It is funny, and he is a boy, but I try to be a good mom and encourage him to excuse himself after at least one burp. Sometimes he pulls a cop out on his "excuse me"s and tells me that he's pretending to be Mike Wazowski in that final scene from Monsters, Inc where Mike lets a monster-sized burp to get a kid to laugh. What can you say to that?

This time Isaac the Imaginator Extraordinaire found another loophole in the "excuse me" clause. "But Mom," he said, "I'm a burping machine. Machines don't have to 'scuse', because that's just what they do's".

Back home again from Indiana, August '07 edition

We are back from another glorious stay with the grandmas and grandpas around Indianapolis, this time without a Dada accompaniment. Poppop, because he is a freak in how much he loves us, flew out for a day, then drove us to Indy; drove us back through crazy Sunday traffic a week later, and then flew home the next day. We certainly cannot thank our Poppop enough, especially because I was really not sure how to make that gigantic drive all by myself.

I'll try to recap our fun, but it certainly won't capture the all the great times. If pictures are your preference, as they are mine, click here for a slideshow of everything I took.

*Dadaw fixing our car; after a whirlwind radiator replacement before we left Delaware resulted in some important things left unattached

*We went to the Children's Museum, UH-gain. That place never, never gets old. This time we came equipped with our brand new membership, which among other things allows us to ride the carousel for free. So we did. Three times. They didn't even make us get off and get back in line.

*Mamaw used her exceptional hairstyling skillz to give both boys a haircut. She among all human beings is uniquely qualified to do so, having a lifetime of experience with her son's crazy spiral hairgrowth pattern, which both of his sons have inherited.

*Meemaw and Poppop indulged my city park addiction and helped me and the boys explore three different parks, two of which were new to us, all planned and built by people in their town who have far too much money to throw around.

*Mamaw and Dadaw hosting two movie nights for our rabid movie consumers; first came classic Tom & Jerry, and then came our faves, Wallace and Grommit.

*Shapiro's for lunch, courtesy of Meemaw and Poppop. Mmmmmmmmm.

*Aunt Jean! She loves us a bunch.

*New Crocs for Isaac! His old ones got some hard-core lovin' from Mamaw's puppy when Isaac's dumb Mommy left them out next to the sandbox. Courtesy of a shopping trip with Mamaw and Dadaw in a mall with a vegetable-themed playland, Isaac now sports some stylish orange ones. His father's favorite color.

*A new and exciting bladder infection for me, which required medical attention and antibiotics! Awesome!

The best part was watching Jacob add everyone's names to his vocabulary. Everybody enjoyed how communicative he is rapidly becoming, even if he is suddenly a little shy. By the end of the week, he could even distinguish the finer points between "Meemaw" and "Mamaw". And how, if he saw one grandparent, he would usually inquire as to where his or her partner was. The whole ride home, Jacob saw Poppop in the driver's seat and was confused. "Meemaw?" he would ask. Where was that lady, anyway?

Also, I think Jacob will be the easiest kid ever to potty-train, because the potty is his LIFE. While we were home, he picked up the following habit: everytime we pass by a bathroom, he instructs me that there is a "POTTY!" in there. Perhaps it's because we accompany big brother to the potty several times a day that the potty holds such fascination for him. In that same vein, he has taken to calling his wee-wee "POOP!". Well, duh, Mommy, it's because I get to stare at Isaac's wee-wee for minutes at a time when Isaac sits down to drop his multi-colored kids off at the pool.

Oh, and the other best part were the additions to Isaac's vocabulary:
*His new favorite phrase: "You've GOT to be kidding me!"
*His other new favorite phrase: "It's not there!", accompanied by elaborate and theatrical arm-throwing and/or foot-stomping to indicate that "there" actually means "fair"
*A new question that is going to get Mommy and Poppop into SO much trouble: "Why doesn't that lady want to go to rehab?"

A hard day's night

For part two of Operation Get Out Da House, Dada and I took the babies to a Beatles concert a week ago. No corpses were harmed in the making of this event, however. It was put on by a local Beatles tribute band who cutely call themselves "Almost Fab":


Our favorite nearby state park has this summer concert series every Wednesday night where you get to see family-friendly local bands for only the cost of regular state park admission. And it's the Beatles! How much more kid-approachable can you get in music for grownups?

I was seriously excited because my babies love to dance and sing. And, well, Dada and I like the Beatles. Surely my obnoxious dancing and singing would inspire them to get their baby groove on. But such was not the case. While Dada and I enjoyed the band immensely, the babies basically used it as background music for their frolic with the bubble machine the park employees had set up in one corner of the field.


We tired of chasing Jakey all over the place, so I put him on my lap and asked him to help me with my camera. Here, he's "cheese"-ing upon request, so you can take in his perfect teeth as well as his gorgeous baby eyes.


We're still not sure where that particular eye color came from, but he is too lucky to have it. And speaking of gene extraction, here -- in this picture of the Goatee of Geologic Proportions -- you can see from whence Isaac's beautiful nose and widow's peak comes from, as well as both boys' normal-sized ears:


When the bubble machine got old, as all things inevitably do, we collapsed into our regular park routine of gathering rocks, supervised by a professional geologist:


Isaac enjoyed chucking said rocks into a field of tall grass. Here he is making his Disco Duck pose to indicate where his rock will be going next.


It was very very hot that day, as you can tell from my oldest whose hair is plastered to his forehead. We were grateful to get out at all, especially in the somewhat-cooler evening time, and even more so accompanied by a great band playing some fun music. They even played "I Saw Her Standing There," in which Dada and I chuckle at his cradle-robbing everytime we hear about how "She was just seventeen". I was that young when we met. And now look at me, a regular doddering old fart with two babies and no boobies. How time flies when you're having fun.

Isaac's first roller coaster ride

As part of our new O'Neal Commandment, "Thou shalt get Out and About in the Summertime", Dada and I took the babies to a fair the next county over in Maryland. This particular county has a reputation for being glorious in its hilljackery -- perhaps as much if not more so than certain counties in Indiana because there are actual hills here. The county fair did not disappoint with its good, clean, farmin' fun. For example? Our trip from the parking lot to the fair proper was via tractor trailer:



Our chauffeur:


We took in a bit of a rodeo, including the beginning where a trio of smoking hot teenaged country girls in sparkly costumes sang the national anthem in the vein of the Dixie Chicks. The babies enjoyed the part that involved horses parading near us, but were a little bewildered as to why those guys in the cowboy hats would get on these crazy bucking horses and cows. Actually, the best part of it all was the animals, because this fair, like all good county fairs, had a strong 4-H contingent, with lots of lots of beautiful livestock on show in clean barns that smelled like fresh hay. The animals were all being kept by teenagers, who let Isaac and Jacob pet as many sheep and cows as their little junior-farm-boy hearts desired. My boys, they are pure-blooded Hoosiers, after all.

Another scheduled attraction? "Masters of the Chainsaw":


The boys also tried their first taste of county fair eats at our behests; I got cotton candy and Dada got funnel cake. They both adored funnel cake and, because they are broken, absolutely hated my cotton candy. It was even blue! I don't know about those kids.

I am a freak when it comes to roller coasters, so you can imagine the highlight for me was when Isaac pointed at the "Dragon Wagon" and told me, "I want to ride that roller coaster!" It cost me six dollars to ride this bitty thing for two minutes with my son, but it was worth it. For me. Everything was totally cool for our first lap around the track, see?


(and Isaac was even there, I have proof, see him in this blurry picture?)


After the first lap, Isaac told me he was ready to get off. I explained that we couldn't and had to wait until it stopped, and, though he repeated to me a few times his desire to pull the lap bar off and make a run for it, he never got fussy about it or said he was scared, so I was pretty proud of him. I can be patient and pull him to the coaster dark side in a few years.

To show his future prom date

Here was Jacob today, in the check-out line at Wal-Mart. I believe he is also saying "cheese".



Like mother, like son.

The unstoppable duo

The results of our afternoon costume party: